One of the things that kept me going during my polytechnic days was my CCA. I was in the piano ensemble, and I loved both the music and the people there. Being a member was easy, but being a leader requires so much more. I had two roles - program director and concert president.
We had two groups of people, performers and non-performers. We would train the performers to play for concerts, while we would teach the non-performers how to play the piano. The club progressed by leaps and bounds, and non-performers were soon able to perform. And with progress, come challenges.
One side of the committee focused on issues, while the other side focused on the people. There were six committee members, three on the 'issues' side and three on the 'people' side. I was on the 'people' side. We had problems. Good problems. We had an overwhelming amount of non-performing members and not enough resources to teach them all. Other problems include performers not having sufficient 'airtime' during concerts, and little issues that I did not really see as a problem. However, on the issues side, stood the ensemble's president and vice-president. They thought they had the power to overwrite us, and they oftentimes made decisions without meeting or consulting us.
An issue that I vaguely remember was that they wanted to remove members who were not progressing as fast as the rest. I did not think that it was right to remove them for that reason, but their argument was that they would slow the club's progress and we did not have enough resources. The club's progress stood above anything else. I felt that the all members should have the opportunity to learn, and not to be removed because of this. I did suggest that we could have a second intake within the year to recruit more performers and teachers, which would effectively solve the manpower problem.
Committee meetings were a pain. We would have to face the aggression of the president shouting at almost every meeting. I knew he was very passionate about the club, but I did not see the need for all of that. We would sit down and state our point with examples, trying to keep as calm as possible. He shouted, interrupted, and refused to listen to us. The only we did not do is to change our stand or try to placate him.
He wanted progress, while we considered the members and their feelings. (This seems to be just like the case in Singapore right now.) I explained that we understood his point of view, but somehow he just could not see ours. It is hard to imagine that a simple disagreement can result in so much pain. Finally, we came to an agreement to remove members that were not as active as others. To me the solution was not ideal, but we could move on to other issues. We did not speak to each other after our final concert, and he reminded me of the pain we had to go through. Looking back, it is pretty sad that things had to turn out this way just because of disagreements.
Do you think that there was a way to handle the conflict without impacting our relationship?
Happier times in the club
Hey Raphael,
ReplyDeleteI felt that the way you have handled the situation seems to have been the ideal way. You kept your cool and you suggested alternatives while trying to keep to your stand.
But as you mentioned, one of the things that you did not do was to placate him. Probably because there and then during the meeting he was too hostile and unapproachable, but if I were in your shoes, I would find a chance to speak to him one-to-one. It does not have to be immediately after the meeting, but it could be during your own free time where the both of you will meet during or after school hours to just have a casual chat and find a chance to bring up the matter.
That way, his mind would have been clearer as he had already cooled down and is able to think rationally. He'd most likely not be that mean to shout back at you again (I hope), since the both of you are speaking more as friends than as committee members.
A lot could have been done on the president's part. Keeping his cool is definitely one thing. He needs to learn better anger management. Shouting at his members/friends is something really terrible (at least that's how I feel).
It's a pity you lose a friend because of such an incident. Well, let bygones be bygones. If you were to ever meet him again, put this incident away and be friends with him like you are making a brand new friend. He may have changed after all these years. (:
Cheers,
Denice
Hey Raphael!
ReplyDeleteI think that it was a tricky situation to handle, and I would have stood on the same side as you. Members who are keen to learn and improve should be given the chance to, while those who are already more proficient at the piano should help others who are weaker. Nonetheless, it is understandable that the chairperson would want to bring to CCA to greater heights by improving the overall quality and standard of the ensemble.
Perhaps the committee as a whole could have sought the opinions of the teachers-in-charge? Having a third opinion could have helped come to a compromising solution. Alternatively, you could have addressed the matter to the chairperson privately, outside of CCA time on a casual basis? That way he might be less tensed up about trying to resolve the dispute and actually hear you out.
In any case, I felt that you did handle the situation to the best of your abilities and as an elected member of the committee, you were right in fighting for the welfare of your members. Take this as a lesson learnt and try to resolve future conflicts in a more tactical manner! (:
(By the way, our blog posts should only be 250 – 300 words!)